December 6, 2005

Santa on ICE

By Donna Locke
Tennesseans for Immigration Control and Reform
On my old Web sites, which required all readers to don hard hats and safety boots, I used to post a Christmas Gift List every December. Each year our network carefully chose presents for a number of worthy recipients. By nature of what we at Tennesseans for Immigration Control do, we found reason to present many, many, many copies of George Strait's "Amarillo By Morning" - and because of the large number of politicians on our list, we had to buy several cases of Lorrie Morgan's "What Part of No Don't You Understand?"

For newspaper editorialists, we generally settled on fiddles, or their dream come true - replacement by foreign workers. Sometimes, when we had a coupon, we gave them the Neville Chamberlain special at the Falling Scales Eye Clinic: "Lenses in Every Color but Rose."

I remember how every doggone year we had to give state Republicans that elusive blip on the radar screen, along with a translator for when Lt. Gov. Wilder was talking. Once, we gave President Bush a copy of the U.S. Constitution. Don't know what became of that.

I don't know if the American IT professionals are using the fake foreign names and U.S. visas we gave them, but I bet the Democrats still have some of those all-day suckers left.

This year, we have some very special gifts wrapped up or on order, but most of the recipients won't get them until 2006. So, we just want to take this opportunity to wish everyone, allies and opponents alike, a very merry Christmas or whatever holiday you are celebrating. And if you would like to give us a present, we are fond of collections of George Orwell one-liners, and evidence that you know who your state representative and state senator are.

Happy shopping!